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he knew nothing about fishing, soI thought I'd show off and show him "my
outdoor skills".
(yeah, right)
I had jeans on, and had to get into the water to flip the boat up and shove it
out onto the water.
(I was thin then and had worn some pretty tight jeans that day.)
I got into the water knee high, flipped the boat over, and after several
mishaps, we finally got ourselves into the boat. I baited both of our hooks, and
we were floating around, fishing.
A few minutes later, he said, "kathy..are you hot?" I was a bit miffed
by then. He hadn't helped me with any of the stages I went through to get the
boat in the water. i said, 'yeah, I'm hot. WHY?"
He said, Well, I thought the air conditioning might have cooled you off by
now."
By then, I was not in a good mood. I said, "what are you talking about?
It's hot out here. there's no air conditioning!"
He said, "well, I don't know if you noticed but the entire seam of your
jeans split when you were trying to flip the boat up."
I felt back and MY WHOLE butt was exposed.He laughed and said, "i like your
underwear."
I was furious that he not only let me be "exposed" all that time, but
waited so long to tell me.
About that time, my pole went WAY under water. I had hooked a huge fish, and was
having trouble pulling it out from the weight.
Did he help? NO. He had no clue what to do, so he just sat there and laughed
while I wrestled this monster on the end of my pole.
THAT made me even madder.
When I get mad, my adrenaline goes sky high.
Somehow I got this fish into the boat with no help from him.
it was a huge catfish.
I had no conception of how much fish weighed, so I was extremely proud. I just
KNEW it had to be a 10 or 12 pounder!
By then, I had had enough of him and fishing. My jeans were split, I was soaking
wet, I had caught a fish, and I wanted to get away from him.
I rowed (YES, I ROWED) us back to the shore, pulled the boat up to the side and
made him flip it over. The entire time, I was struggling with "the fish
that would not die". I finally just had to take the pole and drag the dang
fish (pole and all) to my car. That fish wrestled me until my hands were sore
and I STILL couldn't get him off the hook.
We got to my car. I was so mad and tired, I cut the line with about 4 feet of
line still on the fish. It was so heavy, I tied the line to my door lock by
twisting it until I got the fish off the ground and he was hanging from my door
lock, just dangling there...still fighting.
I told keith to just take his car and "I'd see him later." (NOT)
On my way out of the compound, this sweet man (Elliott) that worked for Dad at
the time was pulling in to feed the animals, and I stopped him. "ELLIOTT, I
can't get this danged fish off my line!" He started laughing so hard at me.
Here I am driving a black Cadillac with a catfish dangling from my door lock,
and hanging on the outside of my door.
About that time, Keith drove past us and waved.
Elliott: "why didn't that young man help get this fish off?"
Me: "I don't want to talk about it.let's just say a 2 year old would have
been more help."
Elliott:"do you have a tackle box? I'm gonna need a pair of cutters."
Me: "No sir. I didn't bring one, just my pole and a can of worms."
Elliott: "well Miss kathy, I think this may be a job for your Daddy."
Me:"Okay..I'll go ask him. Thanks."
I pulled into Dad's driveway, with my little creature STILL struggling on my car
door.
I got out the passenger side and was starting to panic. I couldn't stand looking
at the poor fish still fighting and struggling.
I ran into the house and yelled for Dad.
"Dad, PLEASE help me..it's an emergency." (yes, I was a bit dramatic
then)
Dad comes up the stairs and said, "what's wrong? what is it?"
I just said, "PLEASE bring your pocketknife. I need help." and ran
back outside to guard my fish.
Dad came running out, having no idea what "emergency" he was facing.
He followed me to my side of the door, and LAUGHED SO HARD he couldn't catch his
breath.
"Dad, this is sad. This 10 pound fish is still alive. PLEASE cut him off
the line and do something."
Dad:"Okay honey...I'll get it. Sorry, I just don't remember ever seeing a
big ole catfish dangling from the door of a black cadillac."
Me : "I couldn't hold it...it's too heavy. I didn't know what else to
do."
Dad was stiffling his laughter, but cut the fish off, and said, "now what
do you want me to do with it?"
i was exhausted by then and didn't want to clean it or ever see it again.
"you can have it.IT MUST WEIGH ABOUT 10 POUNDS."
DAD LOOKED AT ME, AND SAID,'BABY, THAT FISH MAY feel LIKE 10 POUNDS, BUT IT'S 4
AT THE MOST."
My heart sunk. I thought I had broken the "pond record."
In all my excitement, i had forgotten my jeans were exposing my entire butt.
Then Dad said, "Honey, you may want to go home, take a shower and throw
your jeans away."
Then I remembered....My butt was showing.
I felt my face turning bright red,and said sheepishly, "oh that would be a
good idea.I forgot."
Dad "i thought you had a date today. Where's that boy?"
I said, "URGH...forget him. he didn't even know how to get my fish off the
line."
dad;" well, if a boy doesn't know how to do that, you don't need him."
Me:"UM...that was the worst date ever.I split my jeans, he doesn't know how
to fish, and I'm all wet."
dad: "thanks for the fish honey. You might want to take a towel with you to
cover up, and if you want to, come back and eat some catfish with us for
supper."
Me: "i think I'll just take a towel and stay home."
He laughed, holding the catfish up and said, "okay, thanks for dinner. Call
me later."
I got into the car, started it up, and dad stuck his head into the window.
"one piece of advice baby. Next time, take my tackle box, and make sure the
boy you take fishing KNOWS how to fish. If they don't know how to fish, mark him
off your list."
He told me to wait a minute, and went into the house. he reappeared with a towel
and some money.
"now, cover yourself up, and go buy yourself some new jeans."
me sheepishly, "Thanks dad...I will.And thanks for helping me."
he was still standing in the driveway, and I'm sure I saw him laughing as I
pulled out.
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